Inferno

 It reached 45 degrees C here a few days ago...

               My next door neighbor died. We watched his body removed just a few yards away, through the kitchen window. (So sorry, Jim) The village of Lytton also supposedly burned in 15 mins...

So sorry I don't post much these days. I have been so angry for so long that when I am happy I hide so no one can ruin it or hurt me. I'm hiding in paradise, lounging on the beach and searching for Ogopogo. I pretty much stopped all creative activities...   I don't even make smut really lately (Too difficult - I stay with my mom a lot and work a lot...I was finding the quality was very rushed and poor)

My life is LITERALLY a beach party these days though! I walk to work, beach-hopping the whole way with all kinds of people partying on the sand and bare bums laying out on towels. Then I hang out and work a couple hours before my one hour break back at ANOTHER beach, and then a little more hanging out at work.  :)  There are A LOT of fabulous bare bums out here! Sometimes Nick (Dick Splinters) is hanging out on the sand with me, so I have someone to elbow when a really nice set of cheeks is bouncing by! It really feels like a tropical paradise far from Canada...

And I've been off night shift for 9 months. It took 6 for me to start feeling OK again...night shift fucked me up quite significantly, even though I loved it. After 20 years of it, my health problems were severe...my personality changed so much I couldn't find my "old self" anywhere within, and I was foolish enough to try to make friends in a place infamous for being unfriendly and clique-y... but I have to say I have my revenge: The "Living Well" kind. :)  I would have shared happiness with my friends, but it turned out I didn't really have very many at all. Instead I'm living well for me, in paradise beach-hopping, even during covid...spending time with my mom and a couple other turkeys...just a few years away from retirement. 

Nick & Uncle Pat; Countess & Mum! (Dallas)
My 42nd Birthday Party

I was right all along, it really WAS where I was living that was the problem, not me. I fit in here. People are friendly and all say hello. Men check me out and ask me on dates, and not just scummy men. I feel I connect with the people here WAY better, and everyone here has a smile and is looking for fun and beauty and nature. I can walk out the door and instantly have something to do, places to go, people to say Hi to. In Calgary, you can support people's creative endeavors and offer encouragement and ask to participate, and all you will get is FUCK OFF. So I have - I never had to be nice, I never had to support with my art and my dancing and my money. I never had to offer one damn positive word or hand of friendship to anyone (especially when my health problems were very SEVERE) but I did anyway out of some erroneous notion of a "Love of the Underground artist/musician/creative person" I USED to love the unknown, underground artists, but have found they are just as narcissistic as any big time success. There is nothing "noble" about the little guy who is struggling - they are big assholes too.

Anyway, it's nice to be right, it's nice to be free, and it's too bad it has to come with a "fuck you" to most of the people from my past, but that was THEIR fault, not mine. The people I invited into my life didn't know how lucky they were I invited - THEY can fuck off. My life will always be a party, even during lockdown. 

Kiss kiss kiss, to everyone who follows my smut page!!!! You're always appreciated! So sorry to be behind on posting, just too hot and busy...            Big hugs for the few real friends I did find - I'm feeling better. My happy side is for the people who were nice to me during my worst times.