These photos lost me 7+ followers on instagram - they are pretty tame!! This isn't even my real medical skeleton either!People are way too uptight!
...what were they expecting when I describe myself as "Ms. Fucker of Corpses"?
Saturday, September 29, 2018
NecroFiles: Pics of me & my skeleton
These photos lost me 7+ followers on instagram - they are pretty tame!! This isn't even my real medical skeleton either!People are way too uptight!
...what were they expecting when I describe myself as "Ms. Fucker of Corpses"?
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Clearing the Air: Answering Questions about Open Marriage w/ Countess Carcass
So... it seems that many people are getting the impression that I am some kind of dishonest cheating piece of crap...even if I'm not even remotely flirting or interested...
Let's clear some things up here:
1. My marriage (to Dick Splinters) is, and has always been an OPEN MARRIAGE. For BOTH of us.
2. I tell my husband everything. In advance. If I offer some kind of sexual anything (which is very rare) I have permission well in advance. I don't lie! And I don't cheat! I'm pretty insulted that people take me for this sort of person! I'm sure I'm way more honest about myself with my spouse than most people in closed-relationships!
3. If I do offer anything sexual, it is rare and meaningful, and more so because I have my husband's permission. I don't appreciate being treated as though what I offer is meaningless because it comes from a supposedly "cheating" wife. People are extra-harsh when self-righteously rejecting a married woman.
4. I am not actually available at present - the marriage is open for my husband only right now. So, if I'm being friendly, it means nothing more than you've caught me in a good mood. Men have left a terrible impression on me as a group - I don't want any of you as much as none of you want me. (Yes, I realize the face-tattoo is also a major factor) So you can stop rejecting me when I'm not offering anything!!!!
My husband and I are married out of friendship and we discuss all things always - that's what makes Open Marriage "Open" - it's not about sex at all! It's about open communication!
All the weenies out there who can't deal with being a married woman's friend, or who turn down something special because they make erroneous assumptions about my character can all stick it up your butts!!!
My husband is just as mystified as I am about some of the attitudes out there!
Let's clear some things up here:
1. My marriage (to Dick Splinters) is, and has always been an OPEN MARRIAGE. For BOTH of us.
2. I tell my husband everything. In advance. If I offer some kind of sexual anything (which is very rare) I have permission well in advance. I don't lie! And I don't cheat! I'm pretty insulted that people take me for this sort of person! I'm sure I'm way more honest about myself with my spouse than most people in closed-relationships!
3. If I do offer anything sexual, it is rare and meaningful, and more so because I have my husband's permission. I don't appreciate being treated as though what I offer is meaningless because it comes from a supposedly "cheating" wife. People are extra-harsh when self-righteously rejecting a married woman.
 |
| Me & my husband, Dick Splinters Marriage currently open for him only - feel free to look him up on Instagram, ladies! |
My husband and I are married out of friendship and we discuss all things always - that's what makes Open Marriage "Open" - it's not about sex at all! It's about open communication!
All the weenies out there who can't deal with being a married woman's friend, or who turn down something special because they make erroneous assumptions about my character can all stick it up your butts!!!
My husband is just as mystified as I am about some of the attitudes out there!
Monday, September 24, 2018
Wound Make-Up: Boob wounds with Safety Pins
Wounded!
Tried to pin myself together for a night out with Hello Moth, Die Scum Inc. & Strvngers
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| Countess Carcass & Die Scum Inc. |
Make every day Halloween!
Wednesday, September 19, 2018
Pathetic-ness
I spent a year and a half telling someone in passionate detail how much they meant to me as a musical and personal influence, and telling him how much I loved and wanted him and would do anything for him...
He told me he wouldn't get anything meaningful out of being with me.
...he pretty much told me I wasn't even worth his time.
...for the record, I am only so offensive, ridiculous, and obscene to mask a huge amount of despair...if you can't joke off the ugliest side of life (and see that the universe really IS magical) it will destroy you...
...forgive me, oh, Noble Hypocrite, for not being deep and meaningful enough for you...all of your "deep" spoutings are pretty hollow. You are not the person you tell everyone else they should be!
He told me he wouldn't get anything meaningful out of being with me.
...he pretty much told me I wasn't even worth his time.
...for the record, I am only so offensive, ridiculous, and obscene to mask a huge amount of despair...if you can't joke off the ugliest side of life (and see that the universe really IS magical) it will destroy you...
...forgive me, oh, Noble Hypocrite, for not being deep and meaningful enough for you...all of your "deep" spoutings are pretty hollow. You are not the person you tell everyone else they should be!
Monday, September 17, 2018
Wednesday, September 5, 2018
How A Dead African Man (and Tennessee) Saved my Life
So.... I've been intensely suicidal lately...
I'm not usually this way, but some things in life sucked me into a painful despair that no amount of meds or counseling or distracting music, dance & art projects can help...
Whatever - the point is, I'm extremely broken as a person, and when you've tried absolutely everything possible to help yourself, be positive, and make the intense pain inside go away, and nothing works at all the only option left is to remove yourself from the equation... I'm not wanting to hurt myself - just wanted out.
Anyway...at our last band practice I had a profound moment when decided I would die...I would get things in order, write letters, and help my husband (& family) understand how much I just need the pain inside to stop...I decided I would kill myself in about 6-8 months. For sure. (My husband is a very sweet & loving person - my pain comes from other people & circumstances - he is perfect! It is me who is so deeply broken.)
Within 2 hours of solidly deciding that I would choose death, a friend I haven't known very long (Named Tennessee) suddenly offered me a real human skeleton! For free! Totally spontaneously out of the blue! (I don't think he even knows I'm sad) He said it was a teaching model for universities and had been sitting in a box a long time, and he had been looking for the right person to give it to... and it was in my kitchen the next day! He is an African male in his early 30s who died of a tooth abscess. (And my husband had been having VERY intense tooth pain right before we got that skeleton too!)
I wished for death, and my universe gave it to me in a form that made me so happy! I wished for death, and immediately had an actual dead person suddenly on my kitchen floor!!!
I took as a message that there are still lots of crazy-awesome surprises waiting for me, and this was not my time...I changed my mind about dying soon. I got a friend that I needed SO BADLY... I cry on him, and cuddle him, and tell him my secrets...I tell him I love him and it doesn't make me feel bad when I never hear it back...he never makes me feel bad about myself... he will help me enjoy and make the music I love so much that causes me such unbearable tormented despair right now... and he can't die on me! (Like people close to me keep doing)
We hang out now!
I've named him Harold! (My deceased younger brother's middle name...)
He is dead inside and broken to pieces, just like me!
I tell him he may never have guessed when he was alive that he would end up saving the life of a terribly shattered white lady with half her face tattooed...I tell him we will have lots of fun together, even if he's not really into the same things as me. I took him (well, his skull in a box) out to synth night - I carried him around and showed him the synthesizers and we even got to dance a bit together!
I pile his bones around me while I watch TV, or cry, or when I sleep and I tell him how he saved my life, and how I needed him so badly.
Even my husband says the house feels more peaceful with Harold in it...
He doesn't mind that I keep some human bones in our bed for comfort.
I don't know who he is for real, but the second part of his existence is just beginning with me! Someone still needed him very badly, and all my loving affection that got severely fucked up by life has somewhere to go...
I'm not usually this way, but some things in life sucked me into a painful despair that no amount of meds or counseling or distracting music, dance & art projects can help...
Whatever - the point is, I'm extremely broken as a person, and when you've tried absolutely everything possible to help yourself, be positive, and make the intense pain inside go away, and nothing works at all the only option left is to remove yourself from the equation... I'm not wanting to hurt myself - just wanted out.
Anyway...at our last band practice I had a profound moment when decided I would die...I would get things in order, write letters, and help my husband (& family) understand how much I just need the pain inside to stop...I decided I would kill myself in about 6-8 months. For sure. (My husband is a very sweet & loving person - my pain comes from other people & circumstances - he is perfect! It is me who is so deeply broken.)
Within 2 hours of solidly deciding that I would choose death, a friend I haven't known very long (Named Tennessee) suddenly offered me a real human skeleton! For free! Totally spontaneously out of the blue! (I don't think he even knows I'm sad) He said it was a teaching model for universities and had been sitting in a box a long time, and he had been looking for the right person to give it to... and it was in my kitchen the next day! He is an African male in his early 30s who died of a tooth abscess. (And my husband had been having VERY intense tooth pain right before we got that skeleton too!)
I wished for death, and my universe gave it to me in a form that made me so happy! I wished for death, and immediately had an actual dead person suddenly on my kitchen floor!!!
I took as a message that there are still lots of crazy-awesome surprises waiting for me, and this was not my time...I changed my mind about dying soon. I got a friend that I needed SO BADLY... I cry on him, and cuddle him, and tell him my secrets...I tell him I love him and it doesn't make me feel bad when I never hear it back...he never makes me feel bad about myself... he will help me enjoy and make the music I love so much that causes me such unbearable tormented despair right now... and he can't die on me! (Like people close to me keep doing)
We hang out now!
I've named him Harold! (My deceased younger brother's middle name...)
He is dead inside and broken to pieces, just like me!
I tell him he may never have guessed when he was alive that he would end up saving the life of a terribly shattered white lady with half her face tattooed...I tell him we will have lots of fun together, even if he's not really into the same things as me. I took him (well, his skull in a box) out to synth night - I carried him around and showed him the synthesizers and we even got to dance a bit together!
I pile his bones around me while I watch TV, or cry, or when I sleep and I tell him how he saved my life, and how I needed him so badly.
Even my husband says the house feels more peaceful with Harold in it...
He doesn't mind that I keep some human bones in our bed for comfort.
I don't know who he is for real, but the second part of his existence is just beginning with me! Someone still needed him very badly, and all my loving affection that got severely fucked up by life has somewhere to go...
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