Clearing the Air: Answering Questions about Open Marriage w/ Countess Carcass

So... it seems that many people are getting the impression that I am some kind of dishonest cheating piece of crap...even if I'm not even remotely flirting or interested...

Let's clear some things up here:
1. My marriage (to Dick Splinters) is, and has always been an OPEN MARRIAGE. For BOTH of us.

2. I tell my husband everything. In advance. If I offer some kind of sexual anything (which is very rare) I have permission well in advance. I don't lie! And I don't cheat! I'm pretty insulted that people take me for this sort of person! I'm sure I'm way more honest about myself with my spouse than most people in closed-relationships!

3. If I do offer anything sexual, it is rare and meaningful, and more so because I have my husband's permission. I don't appreciate being treated as though what I offer is meaningless because it comes from a supposedly "cheating" wife. People are extra-harsh when self-righteously rejecting a married woman.

Me & my husband, Dick Splinters
Marriage currently open for him only -
feel free to look him up on Instagram, ladies!

4. I am not actually available at present - the marriage is open for my husband only right now. So, if I'm being friendly, it means nothing more than you've caught me in a good mood. Men have left a terrible impression on me as a group - I don't want any of you as much as none of you want me. (Yes, I realize the face-tattoo is also a major factor) So you can stop rejecting me when I'm not offering anything!!!!

My husband and I are married out of friendship and we discuss all things always - that's what makes Open Marriage "Open" - it's not about sex at all! It's about open communication!

All the weenies out there who can't deal with being a married woman's friend, or who turn down something special because they make erroneous assumptions about my character can all stick it up your butts!!!
My husband is just as mystified as I am about some of the attitudes out there!