Lab Blab: Tales From The Night Shift

OK - Gotta share some stories from work, 'cuz I really laugh sometimes!

(I'm in Microbiology, on the Graveyard Shift)

One of my Co-workers, Imad, has the most ridiculous things happen to him - (He is older and from India too, so he is so visually mismatched to some of his funny stories)

Story#1:
For several months (a few years ago) there was some major construction project going on in the ceiling that involved quite a few workers on scaffolding right above our heads. (When they dropped a wrench, it was just a foot over my head - startles the CRAP out of you!!! The tools would usually start dropping around 6am...)

Anyway, Imad had gone to the men's washroom to take a shit one morning, and had actually finished up by the time he realized that the ceiling over that whole area had been opened up, and 2 people had been looking down at him the whole time!!!!! (Why wouldn't they go for coffee as soon as he sat down????) He won't tell me more than that - I keep asking if he still had to wipe after he realized he had an audience!

(My boss giggles so much when we talk about that one!)

Story #2:
Imad is the LEAST likely person you would guess would have a belly button ring - but yup, he does!
My boss had been teasing him about it when I accidentally divulged that information one morning - it turned into us texting her a photo of his VERY HAIRY belly and piercing (Looked a lot like a lower hairy hole I could mention!) and told her it was her new screen saver! I laughed SO HARD when I took the photo for him!!!! We told her it also comes without hair, and decorated with ornaments for Christmas Time. :)   She's the ONLY boss you can joke with like that here! 

Story #3:
Shortly after starting at the lab, Imad said he had a source on a sample as "Vaginal Vault" (It's just where your lady parts end off inside when they've removed your uterus.) As we usually do, he looked it up on the internet, and what he got was a full-color photo of very hairy lady parts just as my boss had silently walked up behind him!!!! "Imad!!!" She gasped (She goes bright red in the face too!) and he had to do some fast explaining that he didn't know that was going to pop up!
(Someone ALWAYS walks up behind him in the 3 seconds he might embarrass himself!)

Story #4:
Most of my co-workers pass out in their chair at some point or another due to exhaustion - one woman even falls asleep standing up, propped up on a counter!!!
2 different people now have told me they fall asleep while stirring poo samples, and they smear it up their glove and sleeve, while leaving face-prints on the plexiglass Safety Cabinet cover!!! I think I'm the only person who has NOT fallen asleep in the middle of a task! (I still leave face-prints - I'm just clumsy!) 

Story #5:
One night, about 15-20 mins after the person working in that spot went home, a poo sample on her bench exploded all over the ceiling! She just missed having it all over the side of her face!!! Luckily I was on my break at the time, but that means it took me about 5 hours to figure out where that shitty smell was coming from - it wasn't until I saw the little spork from the sample jars sitting in a little blob on the floor that I started to look around... Almost the whole damn thing had hit the ceiling! It was a hilarious mess!!!! (I so regret not having a camera!) I cleaned the workspace, but left the ceiling as it was for my boss to see - she laughed SO HARD! She's so nice - she got up there herself and took the ceiling tiles out.

People out in the rest of the world really don't get or enjoy my "Off" humor, but you have to have a weird sense of humor to work here! Some nights my co-workers really make me laugh!!!!