Suicide: Don't Judge Things You Don't Understand

One of the women in my department committed suicide sometime in the last couple of days...
(When I speak, it is from life experience - my brother and Aunt both killed themselves, and I very nearly took that step myself last summer...)

People judge - they say suicides are cowards, and are taking the "easy" way out... those people clearly know NOTHING. There is NOTHING easy about taking your own life at all! You DO think of your loved ones - sometimes just being alive and conscious is SO PAINFUL that you would do anything to make the pain inside stop. Estrogen bursts alone can cause such intense rage or despair that every ticking second is utterly unbearable, and just getting through the day is LITERALLY almost painful from just how shitty you feel from your own body chemistry - sometimes a bullet in the head would be a welcome relief...

Emotional pain is WAY worse than physical - it can really destroy you as a person, from within. Emotional pain can take EVERYTHING from you - it can take your whole life.
(Example - my brother's death destroyed my father...he was the one who found the body... he had a premonition it would happen the week before and I think he has never forgiven himself for not preventing it somehow.)

...the judgmental "friends" that suicides leave behind are possibly a part of WHY that person's life was unbearable. I also notice a lot of "friends" at funerals or graveside that were never friends in life...but suicides usually don't have funerals - the family is usually in too much shocked despair to face people and grieve in front of others.) These kinds of "friends" are certainly being disrespectful, even if their judgements are religion-based. ("She won't get into heaven now" - that's NOT HELPFUL - how about you cook some meals for the family left behind without your voice in the matter.)

Everyone has some opinion when someone commits suicide - this is what I have to say:

NO ONE really knows how this person was feeling inside - not even those closest to them. If you are lucky enough to be someone this person confides in, you possibly know just how painful just existing is for that person - you should UNDERSTAND the need to make the pain stop.
Aside from that - NO ONE is entitled to have an opinion! Period!
No - I'm not saying keep it to yourself - you are NOT ACTUALLY ENTITLED to your opinion here! (Guess what - the family is likely in way too much grief & shock to even start forming opinions for quite some time themselves - what gives anyone else the right????)

The internet had deluded the masses into thinking every petty opinion matters, but in suicide, it is that person's life, that person's choice, that person's body.  Sometimes staying alive just for your family members that love you is unfair - some of us never wanted to be alive right from early childhood. We are all entitled to end the burden that is our human condition when we decide - my poor grandmother was BEGGING for death towards the end of her life - she had dementia so badly that it degenerated her neurons responsible for hearing and sight. She was SO ALONE in a crowded room - she couldn't see or hear, and she would wake up terrified because she had no idea where she was... I HOPE I can end my own life before it gets to that!!!! My grandmother was a WONDERFUL woman who suffered so much psychologically for SO LONG - she would ask my mom, hopefully, if she was going to die soon yet...

All you can do is help the person in life, and help them understand that medication is there to HELP them and is really necessary with severe depression (it IS a clinical illness).
I respect a person's right to end their own suffering. I understand.

The other thing I have to say is this:
Every highly educated and intelligent person I know has felt suicidal at some point, or taken comfort that they could end their life if necessary - intelligence and happiness don't mix very well, because intelligent people see the shitty world REALLY CLEARLY and it's fuckin' hard to always stay happy when you see reality really clearly.

I very much hope Brandy has found the peace she could not find in life - I did not really know her in person, but I really understand.
My warmest wishes go out to her and her family.