Pitfalls of Staying to Positive: Sometimes You Have to be Realistic

Staying positive sounds like the right/only way to go, right?

I have not found that to be true in actual practice...

Sometimes not knowing when to say, "Fuck you/this, this is shitty and I'm angry!" is DENIAL and non-helpful in getting you closer to where you want to be in life. Being too positive all the time also contributes to habitual cycles of people taking advantage of a nice person, and there is shock all around if that person ever objects to being taken advantage of, because, "What's your problem? Things have always been this way - why are you getting mad now? You're crazy."  and some people will try to tell you that you are a shitty friend if you ever stand up and say, "ENOUGH - I'm not happy."

Here are some examples of the Stay Positive Theory working against you:
1. I had a super-shitty 2nd marriage - lots of psychological issues, stress, lack of friends for support - I used to try to work on things in a positive way, and would only write positive things to that REALLY SELFISH person (he was a freeloader and user - not just to me, but to all his "friends") in romantic letters - I literally filled thousands of pages (Something like 6 books or something like that) in an effort to create a better marriage through positivity. The REALITY was such utter garbage - like if I hugged that guy he would not hug me back!!!!! - that after a while I was sick of trying to be positive, especially for a selfish person who expected me to support him and he couldn't even be bothered to lick my fucking pussy once in a while. I told him that the illusion that was created by me writing positive things was such an utter bullshit lie, and that the marriage that was described in that writing was some fictional fantasy, and NONE of that writing was meant for him. I literally took hundreds-thousands of writings and ripped almost every single thing to shreds, and told him none of that was ever meant for him. I left him with one book only - the first one I had given him as a wedding gift and I told him, "I want you too keep this one, so you will always remember what you fucked up."

2. If you are the positive-thinking kind of person that always works hard at making a relationship work, you will always be the person to be dumped in the end - nothing sucks worse than being dumped by someone who's providing a shitty relationship on their end.

3. I watch a lot of true crime shows - there are quite a few cases where women are in abusive relationships for a very long time, and because they put on a good front, maintaining an illusion of a perfect family and all that, if they ever kill that abusive spouse one day in self-preservation, because people only saw the positive front on display... NO ONE knows what goes on in a relationship in private, but people are all so certain they know what's going on from what they see on the outside - many abused women were executed when they stood up to their abuser.

4. If you are too positive, and that's the only part of yourself you show friends, you will find as soon as you show that you have any kind of problems, you suddenly don't have most of those "friends" - you will be blamed for things you can't help. People won't be very forgiving of your human issues.

So - positivity is great, but it can really work against you.
Sometimes you have to say FUCK YOU!!